This LSAT Diary is from Ian, a 31-year-old assembly-line worker.If you want to be in LSAT Diaries, please email me at LSATUnplugged@gmail.com. (You can be in LSAT Diaries whether you've taken the exam already or not.)
Ian's LSAT Diary:
Monday
-6:00 am ALARM goes off
-6:09 snooze
-6:18 snooze
-6:27 see above
-6:36 too cold to get out of bed to study for LSAT so I start working on 25 logical reasoning problems.
-7:10 I got only 16 of 25 correct. I review my answers and see where I made my mistakes.
Although, I understand where I went wrong, I still can’t help but feel extremely frustrated. When I first started prepping for the LSAT, the logic games by far gave me the most trouble so I took them head on and was able to significantly improve how well I scored on them. These logical reasoning problems seem different to me. It’s as if I’m on a plateau. No matter how many I do, or how many I review that I missed I’m not improving. With the logic games I could definitely sense a breakthrough in my progress but with these its almost as if I’m going backwards.
-7:45 I get out of bed after reading over the problems and get ready for school.
-9:00 Finance class starts and I learn I made a 114 on the last test. Again, frustration wells up in me. How can I excel in college and do so poorly on prepping for the LSAT?
-10:30 I’m back home from school and it is study time for me. I have a mid-term exam tomorrow night, plus a major paper due Wednesday night.
I checked the mail and got a letter from my employer. They laid me off last August and wanted to let me know they intended to recall me back to work this month. Great! I’m signed up for 18 hours of college, I’m studying for the LSAT and my place of employment for the past 11 years decides they want to rehire me just for the summer months (due to the poor economy of the past 19 months I’ve only worked 4 months).
If I go back, it means I may have to drop classes and reduce my study time for the LSAT. If I quit my job it means I loose my unemployment benefits AND any benefits I could receive from my employer, such as tuition reimbursement.
All of this causes me to question my goals and desires. Do I want to go to law school bad enough? Will the benefits outweigh everything I’m giving up? Will I be able to score well enough on the LSAT to be accepted to a respected law school, even though the logical reasoning is killing me.
I think about all of this and then I think about working on the assembly line for 8-16 hours a day. I HATE IT. I hate being a slave to that line. I hate doing the same thing over and over. I hate that it is a dead-end job. I hate that I have only worked 4 of 19 months because no one is buying air conditioners.
Most of all I hate that that kind of work is the highest-paying type of work I’m qualified to do until I graduate college. It’s a dead end job, and I’m 31. I made poor decisions in my youth and now I’m paying for them. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but these are the choices I made and I have to adapt and work to over come them. It’s supposed to make me a better person right? I know it has made me a better college student.
Stuff like this runs through my mind all day, sometimes in the background, sometimes in the forefront. It doesn’t matter if I’m studying, in class, or hanging with friends. I even think about it when I’m riding my motorcycle 120 mph trying to relax. I look forward to a time in the future when I can remember this period of time and laugh about it, and when I see someone in my current position I can encourage them.
Tuesday
-8:00 wake up and start working through 25 logical reasoning problems. I only got 13 of 25 right. SOOOOOO frustrating! I read through all the solutions and understood all the right answers. I still haven’t found a common thread in any of these problems that causes me to miss them.
-9:30 wrapped up my LSAT study and started studying for an organization of management test I have tonight.
-12:30 I got ready for school and went to my business law class. Ugh…I have a test Thursday. Got tickets to the symphony and a hot date Saturday night!
-2:00 I came home and continued to study for my test tonight.
-5:30 Headed back up to the university for Organization of Management class
-6:00-8:40 Tested and listened to a lecture. That should be illegal! Why would any teacher lecture after giving a test? My brain is fried.
-9:00 I go to a friends house to chill and hang out
-6:30 (Wednesday morning) I come home after staying up all night
Wednesday
-6:30-8:00 Sleep! ZZZZZzzzzzz…….
-9:00 Finance class
-10:00 come home and started writing a paper for marketing class that I should have done last week.
-2:00 Finished paper and I take a nap
-4:30 Go get some dinner and get ready to go to marketing class
-5:30 OMG My LSAT books arrived! The postal worker left my books on the back porch.
-6-8:40 Marketing class
-9:00- Got second dinner at Subway. For some reason going to night classes makes me hungry and I want to eat dinner again. Went home and played some video games just to chill. It's been a looooonng day.
Thursday
-7:30 Start learning about premises and conclusions and the key words that tip them off. This is good stuff.
-9:00 Still trying to figure out how to brew the perfect pot of coffee with this new damned coffee maker.
-9:15 Started studying for the bus law exam this afternoon.
-12:00 Went to class. Test sucked. I want to go to law school and my worst subject is business law. Irony…
-1:30 Went a friends apartment to visit for a while. Ended up taking my motorcycle out for a spin. Nothing like 125 mph to get your mind off all your troubles
-7:36 Walked in the door and about to learn more about premises and conclusions I reckon.
-9:30 Time to play some games before bed
-10:30 Night Night! Bite the bed bugs before they bite you
Friday
-7:00 Up and at 'em! (Whatever that means) Books tossed in backpack
-8:00 Made it to class early and read for about 45 minutes.
-10:00 Weekend begins!!!! But a quick detour to McDonalds for breakfast
-2:20ish On the back porch looking over the lake studying
-3:00 Ugh my mind can’t take it anymore in enough with LSAT study
Saturday
-9:30 wake up, don’t mess with books at all
-4:30 start getting dressed for the symphony only to find nothing that matches fits. Jacket for suit fits, but pants don’t. Brown button-up fits but slacks don’t. Khakis fit, but Blue button up won’t button at the neck. I’ll cover it up with a tie!
-5:45 Pick up date - LSAT has now went from priority status to LSAT-huh?.
-2:00 a.m. Lights out
Sunday
-9:30 coffee…..please…..
-5:00 I finally remember, oh yeah! I want to get into law school some day! Study for about 30 minutes.
It's times like this I feel very guilty. I am hard on myself because I feel like every moment I’m awake that I am not doing anything I could be working an LSAT problem or I could be reading. I need to find a balance.
11:00 Bed time….here comes Monday and time to do it all over again!
Photo by captkodak
good read, I am also a late bloomer (having screwed around and traveled for years) and completely understand the frustration. Keep at it! I have had to sneak away and sit in my car at lunches, etc. The brick walls are there for a reason, we just have to figure out how bad we want it.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to so much of this. Keep going Ian - when you're in the thick of it, it's hard to keep your perspective but you'll be so glad you kept your head down and persevered. I'm in a similar situation - not really bad choices, but just different ones (I had 4 kids and didn't finish my undergrad until this Spring). I'm 35 now, but being an older student has made me a sharper one. It's too much of a sacrifice to screw it up, plus I have to finish before my oldest starts finishes high school in four years (eek).
ReplyDeleteAnd the mother in me has to offer some non-related LSAT advice - slow down on that motorcycle, hey? You're making me nervous :)
No matter what, stay in school. school improves your potenial salary earnings and job prospects. you've been making it this long w/out that assembly line job. since they need YOU, maybe you can negotiate part-time work if you really need the money.
ReplyDeletedon't beat yourself up, at least you being productive and in the process of making a change.
Ian this is such a great blog for me. I feel your frustration through and through with having to juggle school, work, and studying; being overwhelmed but also determined not to have this present be your entire future. When are you taking the LSAT? and what state are you in if you don't mind?
ReplyDeleteYou inspire me. Thanks for sharing. Keep going. Even if you have to lie to yourself, keep your thoughts positive! It will make all the difference.
ReplyDelete